quinta-feira, 24 de dezembro de 2009

A love story



What i'm going to tell you today is about one boy and one girl who fell in love with each other...
Yes, that boy was me, indeed.. 
It all started in my 8th grade, I was just an innocent kid and so was she...
The first time I saw her at school i realized, it was her, such deep atraction as i had never felt for anyone else.
The thing is, i was nothing but an ugly, unpopular, (...) "sigh" just hideous, as i was told many times... 
At first she did not notice me.
It took for about a year 'till i was able to draw her attention, i was so passionate about her but she kept pushing me away.. 
So many great guys around her, i didn't blame for not noticing me..
I did everything in my power for her to be mine, because i knew that she was the one.
Always stood beside her, always there when she needed somebody, we eventually became best friends and started becoming closer and closer..
We spent lots of times together, hours on the phone talking nonsense just to hear each others voices...
Summer time came, holidays, i remember it as if it were yesterday, knowing i wouldn't be able to se her for a few months just made me sad.
We weren't able to talk that much because her dad was strict, i wouldn't even let her out to see her friends, still, we managed to keep in contact.
One day i called her, we stood hours speaking, as usual, untill i decided to come by at her door to give her a kiss knowing her dad was not home...
So there i was, at her door, my heart was beating so fast i could barely look her in the eyes..
Once she opened the door i huged her firmly, i don't remember huging someone with such emotion,  and all of a sudden (...) i felt her face turning to me, on my shoulder, i automatically did the same thing and all of a sudden we were having our first kiss...
We didn't talk much afterwards, i had to leave because her dad was coming home...
That was the happiest day of my life!
After that i was expecting a relationship, as lovers.
I just wanted to let the hole world know how much i loved her, but surprisingly she told him to keep it a secret because she didn't wanted people to know about them...
He imediatelly thought she was ''ashamed'' of him.. 
Many things went thru his mind, i started hating himself for his physical appearence... I spent some time trying to convince her to change her mind and admit to everyone we were toghether , but she wouldn't accept it, i was so sad, not having anything "official" with her meant seeing all kind of guys hitting on her, damn that was tough..
After lots of tears and so much pain i had been thru to get her to fall for me, finally a breaktrough,  October 10th, around 5 in the afternoon at our school, after a big mess envolving my best friend, who also, curiously liked her, we actually kissed, no more hiding we said...
I was afraid of my feeling... it was so good, so strong i couldn't control it.
Times went by and we had many beautiful moments of pure love!
Untill dark times arrived...
 We were distant, always picking up a ''fight'' with eachother every single day..
She was just sick of it, but what she didn't know was that i was really insecure right from the beggining... That's why i was always provoking her, making her jealous... To make sure that she still loved me...
 Then summer vacations arrived and i went to brazil, i did not have a lot of time to talk to her and i was actually trying to enjoy every moment with family i hadn't seen in years.
 When i came back i found out she fell for another guy.. 
Her feelings for me had not disappeared but they were weak just as mine were once... that was the worst day of my life... 
I left her saying i didn't want to suffer as i made her suffer... 
I regret them, my actions, i really do, but i can't go back in time and i guess it was not meant for us to have a second chance...
It's really complicated..
Today I still love her, knowing she is with one other guy...


THE END...  (?)

terça-feira, 24 de novembro de 2009

Memories


 

Já passaram uns meses mesmo assim ainda é dificil lembrar...
Nostalgia ...
Ainda penso nela, não pelo sentimento mas pelo que passámos, remoendo-me por te-la feito sofrer.
Remoendo-me por ter dito coisas horriveis, ter feito coisas horriveis.
Culpando ela por tudo o que aconteceu...
Enquanto eu sabia que culpa tinha sido só minha...
Não soube valoriza-la, acabei por perde-la...
8 meses de amor terminados pelas confusões, pelos problemas.
8 meses de amor esquecidos num piscar de olhos...
Parte do meu coração foi com ela, os restos ficaram comigo ...
Hoje procuro algo ou alguém por quem lutar, não tenho forças para me levantar...


Terminei com ela...
Vi que não dava mais, mas não fui capaz de aguentar..
Um homem deve manter-se sempre fiel á sua decisão não deve mostrar fraquezas...
Foi precisamente o que eu não consegui fazer.


Fui fraco, rebaixei-me ao ponto de se rirem na minha cara..
Chorei demais...
Naquele dia, minha vida parecia que ter acabado, já não tinha mais o meu amor ao meu lado...
Entrei numa depressão profunda.
Mas á uns dias atrás apercebi-me que, não podia ficar assim.
Nada pode mudar o passado...
Aí me apercebi que, minha vida tinha acabado de começar!


Será que algum dia irei achar alguém que me ame pelo que eu sou e não pelo meu aspecto?...


''A vida é muito curta para segundas chances''
Mas hoje estou a ter a segunda chance que muitos gostavam de ter...
Posso considerar-me um surtudo.
Não tenho tudo o que quero mas, tenho tudo o que preciso.
Quando chegar a altura certa, a mulher certa irá aparecer.

Mas estou certo de que nunca mais serei o mesmo, obrigado, pelas maravilhas que me fizeste passar.